HappyUP!!!.....Truth

As I have embarked upon the HappyUP!!! project - with my life as the guinea pig, I have encountered some opposition in a few different forms.

"You are deluding yourself."

"You can't always be happy."

"I don't need that junk....I'm already happy."

It goes from the subtle - to not so subtle. Some of the opposition has been an obvious attack. Some of it has been masked by self-direction on the part of the assailant but it was probably hurled at me.

Take Nothing Personally - is one of the Four Agreements that I must always remind myself of. Another person's manifestation toward you is just an inner reflection of what they have going on.

I am the product of Western culture - I have worked in the sales environment for twenty years. I have been exposed to techniques, ways to close, an emphasis on "always being up" because that is what is attractive. It is what sells. There is nothing wrong with that. I constantly refer to William Shakespeare's, "we are all actors and the world is but a stage." So, when I am on stage, I am on stage. It has served me well in many respects

But, when does the play end - and real life begin? Or, taking Billy Shakes literally, does it ever end? Are we always on stage even when we are playing to an empty house?

Virginia Woolf said - "If you don't the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people."

And, of course, we have Shakespeare chiming in again - "To thyself be true"

Emily Dickinson weighs in on the matter - "Truth is such a rare thing, it is delightful to tell it"

What is the truth about myself? - there are times when I feel as though I am outside the window looking in at other people. It does not appear that my circle of friends is as broad as others. Everyone is always glad to see me. It is always more fun to have me around than not yet I feel as though a pane of glass separates me from the world.

This bothered me for a long time - and, at times, it still does. It is during those times that I must remind myself that it is this pane of glass that allows me the freedom to behave as I have chosen to behave. I also must remind myself that I can break that glass anytime I really want to.

But, do I want to? - I think the overriding answer is, "no, I really don't."

I enjoy my time - to wander about....to examine window pots...to talk to the silence and see what it has to say in return. I must be forever cautious, however, of allowing that silence to become solitary confinement. Work helps fulfill that role for me. It keeps me relevant with a very large circle of acquaintances, friends, customers, and constituents.

Yet, on that stage - am I telling the truth about who I am?...or am I playing the role of a lead character in a very long running production? Shakespeare is confusing yet clarifying in his two thoughts, "to thy self be true" but "you are an actor and the whole world is a stage."

Artists and creatives - are known for their dark, moody side. I have one. There is no doubt about it. I don't allow others to see it, though. I don't allow myself to see it.

Why? - it is scary. If one can increase their level of happiness as I have over the last year by paying more attention to the daily things in life that makes one happy, it only makes sense that one can increase their level of darkness by paying more attention to the dark side of the psyche and life.

I don't want that - there doesn't seem to be any game in that. Yet, it does remain tempting to think that somewhere down there in the shadows lurks a treasure that is waiting to be discovered much like the sunken chest at the bottom of Davey Jones locker.

But, what if the murks are explored - and the pain and struggle to get there is endured and the treasured box is brought to shore where the light of day can illuminate the contents? The lock is opened. The hinged top creeks as it is pried open and all that is found inside is a note that says,

"Hey, thanks for finding me. Have a nice day"

One thing that I do know to be true - is that there are a myriad of things that give me moments to minutes to longer periods of happiness during each day. I like the feeling that I get as I takes the time to acknowledge their presence. It is a savoring before moving on to whatever the next bite of life I take or to the next role that I will be playing.

That is truth