Four Agreements - Don't Take Anything Personally...Part 2

Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best


In the previous segment - we were delving into not taking anything personally because the "stuff" that gets flung your way by others is not your stuff. It's the stuff of the thrower because....well....uh.... he/she was the one that threw it.

People don't come over - and grab your stuff and then throw it at you. (Remember, we are talking about words here....to those of you that have been through a nasty divorce, I am sure you have literally had your stuff thrown at you. In that case, I hope you ducked well.)

You are the target of the toss - because of a fear that is haunting the other person. It could be pressure they are under from their boss....their spouse...their kids....any of the places that you used to feel pressure from until you adopted the Four Agreements.

Let's move on to yourself - you shouldn't take anything personally from yourself either.

"Whoa...Nutster....what are you talking about" - I can hear you already. Hang with me for a second.

Most of you are familiar - with that fine Christian tenet that says, "thou shall not judge." It's a great piece of wisdom. Many of my Christian friends are surprised when I mention that line includes themselves. One could make a case that it's first priority would be to not judge oneself.

Have you ever thought as to WHY we shouldn't judge - sure, it's easy to pass it off and say, "because that is what the Bible says," or "it's not nice," or one of a lot of reasons. None of those stop us from judging others or ourselves. Let me throw another reason at you.....

The bottom line - we really aren't that good at it. God is the only one qualified for the job!

There just is no way to know - why people are who they are....even yourself. It's part of the great mystery of life.

You talk to yourself - all day long your mind is yak yak yakking....

...but once in awhile - you actually hear "that voice." According to Don Miguel Ruiz, the Toltecs called these voices the Allies. The Europeans, Africans, and Indians called them Gods.

The mind can talk and listen to itself - part of the mind listening...part of the mind talking. Get 1000 parts of your mind speaking at the same time and you can see where big mental health problems can exist. It's like being on the floor of the stock exchange during a panic trading session. Each voice has a different view. The word Ruiz uses for this confusion is a mitote.

No matter what it is called - with all of these voices going on in a person's head, it is the reason people hardly know what they want, how they want it, or when they want it. There is a voice that wants one thing and another that wants the opposite.

...and you are supposed to take the confusion - and take it personally? Sounds a bit ludicrous to me. Don't Take Anything Personally.....from others or yourself.

SIDEBAR - people are so used to all of these voices going in their head that silence and meditation are actually quite scary. If the mental chatter was reduced, clarity would be achieved. Never forget that, no matter how they present themselves, most people live in a mental construct of chaos. I have a saying, "when chaos is your companion, peace will not seem like a friend."

When we really see - other people as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do. Even if others lie to you, it's OK. They are doing it because they are afraid. They are afraid you will discover they are not perfect. It is painful to take off the social mask they wear.

Why do you think that "transparency" - is such a sought for commodity? It is because it is so rare...and precious. When you are in the presence of a soul that is transparent, you walk away not believing how "real" that person is. When you are a keeper of the Four Agreements, you gain that transparency.

I love how Ruiz ends this chapter in the book - "if you keep this agreement, you can travel around the world with your heart completely open and no one can hurt you. You can say, 'I love you,' without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. You can ask for what you need. You can say 'yes' or you can say 'no' -whatever you choose- without guilt or self-judgment. You can choose to follow your heart always. Then you can be in the middle of hell and still experience inner peace and happiness. You can stay in your state of bliss, and hell will not affect you at all."