The Hard Mile

Three years have probably passed since I have run a measured mile.

My weight had gotten to 185 pounds. I then got it down to 155. The goal was to run a 6 minute mile in my mid 40's. The goal was hollow. No discipline. No commitment. It was also too easy.

On my first assessment, I ran a 6:06. "Maybe I should make it 12 minutes for two miles. Just to make it interesting." Yes, I was cocky. The goal was forgotten. I didn't go back.

Despite a year on the exercycle and 170 hours of mileage on the machines in 2006, I stand at 172 pounds. 17 pounds over my modern day low. My last marathon was 20 years and 30 pounds ago.

What is today all about? It's about assessment. What will things look like today? As I hold the watch, I know a few things. I know some would say, "start out slow. Jog. Take it easy. You haven't run in forever. Don't go full out. You will hurt yourself." Wise advice but I know my body. If I feel something wrong, I will pull up. With age comes wisdom. I know this is going to hurt tomorrow. It will be only a few minutes but the pain that I will suffer tomorrow will tell me that this was a power packed and intense workout.

I know that my lungs will burn. When I am done, I am going to cough. Hopefully, a lung won't come up with it. I feel the wind. It seems to be a cross wind but I also know it will never feel like it is at my back but I will notice it when I am running into it.

I know that there will come a time that I will want to quit. Not because of a shooting pain, though that is a possibility, but because of will. The mind will say, "you aren't doing bad for a guy your age. This was enough for the day...especially the first one." I also know that, when I hear that voice, I will need to press on. I don't want to wait another week to know where I stand.

I get down the first straightaway. My shoe comes untied. Just like it always did. I stop the watch, tie the shoe, and pick it back up. I head up the backstretch. As I approach the clubhouse turn, I feel the wind. "OK, this is the spot it is going to hit me three more times. Be prepared. You now know the spot when it is at your back too. Remind yourself that to enjoy the benefits, you have to pay the price."

Lap one reads at 1:36. It is too fast. This would be a 6:24 mile but I know that first lap was a little too much effort. It is hard to believe that I used to do light 8 mile training runs at 6 minutes a mile and not break a sweat. The steps just rattled off. I think back to that marathon. 26.2 miles at 6:03 a mile. Here I am today. Dying just to get around the track 4 times.

But every journey begins with the first step. Is another marathon in me? Can the arthritis in my big toe that stopped me from running be arrested enough to get me through the arduous training required? Am I willing to endure the pain and solitude required? I know that I will actually be out at that marathon trail longer than I was 20 years ago. Could I have even ran for that long then...let alone now? Do I have it inside me to answer that question? There is only one way to do it.

Lap three is in the books. I know that I am going to make it. I also know that when I feel that last wind in my face, I am going to kick it on. I always came on at the end. Today will be no different. I have never been one to limp home. I won't start today. You run through that tape. Why? To be able to say that you did.

I kick in. I round the corner. I break the tape and stop the watch. What is it going to read? 6:59. It's no world record. It's only a start. 7 minutes was broken. What would have happened had I not given it my all at the end? 7:02 would have haunted me for a week. I left it all out there. I accomplished something. My pulse upon completion is 210. "They" will tell you that is not healthy. "They" don't know me the way that I know me. The 210 was due to that last burst.

It's a start. It's an assessment. Where do I go from here? We will all find out together in the weeks to come.