Deepest, Darkest Secrets....Who I Am

( A Special Post for SundayScribblings )

The "darkest" secrets - will not be discussed here today. I am sharing exactly who I really am with the entire world. I would consider that pretty deep.

Last year - at a 5 month interval, I took and retook a test over at Martin Seligman's fabulous website. As many of you who follow along know, he is the father of Positive Psychology. I have based my HappyUP!!! calling on his work.

I thought it might be interesting - for those of you following the Nutster on the HappyUP!!! trail to find out a little bit about who this nutty guy is......scientifically tested.

Here are the signature strengths of mine (VIAS test for those of you going to the site....warning: it's a robust 220+ question assessment) that consistently popped up in or around the top 5 on both tests.

Creativity, ingenuity, and originality (#1 in May, #4 in October) - I would say it is right on. It is definitely in the running for the top slot.

Honesty, authenticity, and genuiness (#2 in May, #6 in October) - this is a permanent top fiver in my opinion.

Bravery and valor (#3 in May, #13 in October) - I think the May testing was an aberration. I don't have a lot of fear. My attitude: "hey, what is the worst thing that can happen to me? I die. I can deal with that. I would prefer it not to be today, but my number will come up." Bravery comes when you have fear and do the thing anyway. Perhaps my valor got me in there on the second go round.

Caution, Prudence, and discretion (#4 in May, #3 in October) - yep, that darn test hit it right on the head. This is me. How do these guys have this pegged?

Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness - (#5 in May, #2 in October) - right on the money again.

Perspective (wisdom) - (#6 in May, #7 in October)

Forgiveness and mercy (#7 in May, #1 in October) - this is one that I am particularly proud of. I think I may have rated a bit low in May and a little high in October. It is definitely in the top 5. If I had done this test 7 years ago, I would not have rated well at all.

So, let's summarize - I am forgiving, creative, honest/genuine, open-minded, discrete/prudent with some wisdom sprinkled in. I wish mom was still alive....I think she did a pretty good job with the youngest of three boys! Good thing mom and dad had that accident that brought the final person into the clan.

Where did modesty and humility fall? - ooh, I just knew you were going to ask that. Hey, I will cough it up. It was 21 in May and 10 in October. Yes, it cracked the top 10. I think that is a nice trend.

How did the Authentic Happiness Test look like - year over year? As I wrote this posting, I just had to go take it again. I first took it last March. This one is a short one. Out of a possible 5, I am now testing at 3.83....this was opposed to 3.25 one year ago. Now, a happyometer does not exist in this world. What is happy to one is not to another. However, when you test relatively to yourself, you are playing the same game so there is relevance here. As I have said all along, where you fall is where you fall. No goods...no bads. HappyUP!!! is all about moving up the continuum.

.......but, should you take the test - you really need to do a gut check and be honest. Yes, you can figure out the "right" answers...the ones you want. Like anything in life when you cheat, you only cheat yourself.

Here is some big news - last May, I took the Optimism test on the website (go there...take it...32 questions with only two choices...you can do it in minutes). I scored a 4 out of a possible 8. I was, average. There was nothing wrong with that. My description of myself at the time would have said, "I am pretty pragmatic."

I just retook the test - and I am now scoring at a 7 out of 8. Scientifically, I have moved from pragmatic to optimistic in just one year.

I have been working on changing my attitude - it was OK to begin with. I have seen the differences that consistently applying the HappyUP!!! principles make in my own life. This is a big shift. When I got the latest results, the quantum slide up the scale was not surprising.

NOTE: I also got a new boss and a new bosses boss in that same time frame........one of the biggest HappyUP!!!'s in the last year, I would say. It is amazing how the work environment can effect your overall attitude. Yet, over the last 60 days, I also had some adverse events happen....terminated a long term (3 year) relationship, heavy turmoil in my industry despite the new leadership, short staffed due to terminations underneath me and I haven't backfilled the positions.

My deepest secret - is who I am. You now know it. I guess I will now have to go back down to that "secret's vault" and find the next one to share at another time. I don't care much for secrets.

While I am a vault if someone share's theirs with me - I find that secrets require more maintenance than they are worth. The secrets we keep about ourselves are things that other's really don't care that much about anyway. They are busy tending to their own "secret's garden." Once in awhile, if you are lucky, you share a secret that is troubling with the right person and THE WORLD opens up to you.

I have a saying about that - "I'm going to toss this one out to the universe and see what comes back."

Psychological testing - can be very thought provoking. It can be painful. It can be uplifting. It can bring forth denial. All in all, it may bring some secrets out in the open to yourself.