Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Treat Giving Guide





OK.....you're going through the annual dilemma - how many of those little beggars are going to show up at my door this year? How much candy do I buy?

Have no fear - this is why you come to this blog.....for practical ways to live your life.

(NOTE - it's kind of funny....364 days of the year, kids are taught not to talk to strangers....let alone take candy from them. I digress....)

First off - buy lots o candy. You don't want to be one of those dorks who shuts down the lights or leaves out a sign, "sorry....all out of candy...see you next year." If I was a trickster, I'd be seeing your house again LOOOOONG before next year. I'll remember who you were. You would have been better off not playing. Also, as you are buying, think "durables"...I'll explain in a moment.

What if it might rain? - a great question....timely too. We are definitely looking at the possibility of rain in my world this year. This is why it is critical to buy candy that YOU like. A lot of my friends say this is a bad strategy for the waistline so take that into consideration...like I SHOULD but don't.

Go light in the beginning - I know....you are now in front of your first beggars. They are sooo cute. Wait right there, tiger. Before you give a big handful of your precious resources to that little princess, keep in mind that this event is an educational program so you can learn the concept of rationing. If you run out, you run the risk of an eggy house. I just repainted my house.....EGG FREE ZONE. You can't get egged for being a little tight on the treats...

....That's the law - if you only handout a couple of tootsie roll midgets and you get egged for it, the kid that did it can be strung upside down and waterboarded while waiting for sentencing.

Lead with the crap - you know, the caramels, butterscotches, those red and white mint things....these are the items that you bought to stretch your budget. Now, if all you bought were those red and white mint things, just go shoot yourself now. Those are NOT Halloween candies....they are breath mints. They are OK as a supplement to "cut" in with your other treats.

See the picture above - those kids are going to have to come in big numbers before any of them see those Nestle Crunch Bars.

Hold back the durables - see the Smarties? Smarties are the all time great candy. I firmly believe the last Smartie roll was made in 1953. Somewhere, there is a big warehouse full of these. You hold these as backstock because, in the event of a light turnout, you can throw these in the basement or cupboard for next Halloween ....or the Halloween after that....or the one after that. (Yeah, right....like you can lay off those Smarties yourself). Anyway, save the things that can keep for the very end......CHOCOLATE does NOT keep!

Finally - remember that the Nutster is getting screwed in this deal. I don't have kids so Halloween is a total loss for me. When I was a kid, I had to bring back more than my parents bought.....another lesson you can learn with Halloween...foreign trade.

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