HappyUP!!!.....Kids?

Ah...yes...- on to one of my favorite topics in the whole wide world...kids.

It was not too long ago - that one of my friends said, "Nutster, I am being honest with you. You really should have some kids. You would be an absolutely great father. You have so much to pass down and you enjoy doing that with all of your employees. You would be awesome."

Now, it just so happens - that this buddy has kids....4 of them all in. He has one, his wife has one, and they have two together. It also happens that this guy grew up wanting to have kids....lots of them.

Let me flash to a conversation that I had last night - and one that I have been hearing a lot. I ran into a guy that is a cursory friend. He is beyond an acquaintenance because of how long I have known him. He is a couple of years older than me but we went to the same grade school together.

He mentioned something about "busy with the kids" - and I asked how many he had. He said two a boy and a girl and that one was 16 and one was 13. Dance...sports...they were keeping him pretty busy.

"Do you have kids, Nutster?" - I replied that I didn't.

He said, "SMART!" - this is not the first time that I have received this response as of late. Not by a long shot. Now, I know that this guy is a great dad. He is probably as good as most can be. He's just a solid guy. I am sure that he loves his kids. I am sure that he would tell people that they were the greatest thing that happened in his life (maybe). But, why when given the chance does he say, "smart," when I simply answered his question?

Sure, it's kind of a funny quip - but there is something about humor that you have to think about. It does allow us to get away with telling what is really on our mind.....without others thinking that we mean it.

If you want to see studies - that will tell you that the dominant symptoms of the "empty nest syndrome" are smiling faces, I can point you to them. Seriously, it appears that the majority of people wouldn't do the kid thing again if they had "do overs" DESPITE what they will tell you or talked themselves into.

I was pregnant once - well, my wife-at-the-time was. When I first found out, it was not a HappyUP!!! day. Shortly thereafter, I got used to the idea. I talked myself into it. This was my new reality and I was going to make the best of it. I actually started looking forward to it. When the miscarriage happened, however, you didn't see me jumping back into reproduction mode. The fact is that, deep down, I probably didn't want to have kids...so I didn't.

Hey, to all of you parents who love your kids - keep it up. You brought those young ones into the world. I think it is a great thing. Just don't spread the "kid virus" to others, however, unless you really mean it like the person that I started this thread about. Just because you have the virus, doesn't mean that you should pass it on to everyone. I am not saying that I made the "right" decision to go childless and I am not telling you that you made the right decision to have kids. We each could be wrong.....

....let's all help each other with the decisions that we have made.