Sunday, August 05, 2007

The Psychology of Gratitude



"In research done by Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, those who kept a daily gratitude journal -writing down at least five things which they were grateful - enjoyed higher levels of emotional and physical well being"


from the book Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar, Harvard Phd and leader of courses in Positive Psychology at Harvard University
(If you go to the link above, make sure you read the customer reviews.....rarely have I ever seen such a lack of negative comments on a book reviewed by readers on Amazon)
I just got the comment today - "I'm not reading your blog anymore. You gotta lose the HappyUP!!! thing because it is boring me."
To which, I can only say - "I totally understand." I have the ability to look at life from a perspective of the unexpected. The term "contrarian" has come up. I wouldn't call that an accurate summation. I would call it a label and, as most labels are, it would be limiting. When I go into this mode, I can put some pretty creative ways to think up on the table because, while I don't run away from the masses solely for the jollies of ticking off the crowd, I ask the crowd, "where did this generally accepted idea come from? Who wrote the law on that one?"
I am fine with doing the popular thing - not because it is popular but because it makes sense. But, as often as not, I do the unpopular or unexpected the thing. This grants you the title of "eccentric," "weird," "he sure is different," amongst many other things.
I am not mainstream - and that is my message. If you don't want to be mainstream, you don't have to be. If you want to go along and be mainstream, that's OK too. I only ask that you ask why you do the things you do. If you say, "because it is generally accepted," I am going to counter with one of the first lessons I ever learned in life....
"If everybody jumped off a bridge, does it mean you should to?" - after wandering the orb for almost half a century I would now answer, "nope, but if you don't, there are a whole bunch of normal people that are going to grab you as they say 'Geronimo' ."
Why do I make my readership - who enjoy my slant on life tolerate my daily observations/journal regarding what can seem like mundane events in my life?
1. They aren't all mundane - when I have a bit of time, I try to mix in a few gems of levity or thought. Keep in mind, however, that this is at the end of the day. It's not always the time that I want to stimulate my mind. The Nutster needs sleep too!
2. I have accountability to stick with this process - my goal is to get to 500 consecutive days of HappyUP!!!s and evaluate where it goes from there
3. To always be increasing my level of happiness - and I wholeheartedly believe that this process does that and putting it out on the internet creates extra accountability for me.
4. To be able to go back and look for patterns so I can somewhat scientifically state what is it that makes me happy everyday. I am my own laboratory
5. To inspire everyone I come in contact to try this process for 10-30 days - and increase their levels of happiness. If a simple guy like me can do it for 500 days, you can surely do it for a fraction of that amount of time.
6. To keep me engaged in the study and pursuit of happiness - a concept so important that our forefathers made it part of the Constitution. Aristotle, Plato, and the greatest thinkers of our time constantly considered "what is happiness," to be THEE question. It is my opinion that it is a question that has no answer. It has as many answers as there are people which is why the question, those easily avoided, needs to be asked.
7. One other reason that I can't tell you about just yet - it's big though!
"Nutster, the quote you started with says 5 things a day and you only do 3. Are you cheating?" - wow! That's what I love about you. You don't pull any punches. The gratitude list is similar but not the same as the daily HappyUP!!!s.
With the gratitude list - you could put it on auto-pilot everyday, "my wife, my kid, my other kid, my dog, and my job." OK, for a lot of you, "my job" would be a stretch. Get a new job. There would be nothing wrong with repeating that list everyday if you really took some time to say to yourself or your journal why those were so important to you. Think about it. No matter what happened during that day, if you said, "I am so grateful for my wife," even though she is nagging the living tar out of you, do you think that you may treat her a little differently than if you harbored resentment?
HappyUP!!!s - can be the same everyday but they encourage you to really examine the good things that occurred during the previous 24 hours. It has been my experience that people will replay the bad things that happen over and over. By replaying the good, you automatically crowd out some of the rehash of the bad. You only have X amount of time for rehashing....make it about the good stuff.
As my schedule allows - I'll always try to make a post about something that gets my attention. I will admit that those postings have been a little skint as of late. I shall do my best to bring things to the fore that attract my attention.....and, as an observer of life and human behavior, there is a lot of it.

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