The Gut Wrench Begins

It's that time of year again...

I've been a part of the Toastmaster's Organization for 20 years. It's a network of clubs to help people overcome the dreaded fear of public speaking. It also allows people to improve all of their communication skills.

Once a year, they conduct the International Speech Contest - it's kind of like American Idol. Well, actually, it was here first so American Idol is kind of like the speech contest. The local clubs have a contest within their club, send a winner to the Area contest to compete against other club winners, the winner goes to the Divisional, the winner there goes to the District, then Regional, then to the International until someone is ordained WORLD CHAMPION!!!

Tonight is the Divisional Contest - and I am representing our club and our area. I have been to this level quite a few times. Never farther.

I speak in front of my employees - and to outside groups. It's not that big a thing to me anymore. Sure, you have some butterflies..that's good. But THE CONTEST....it's a Gut Wrench!

Woke up this morning - decided to run through my speech. It's been about a month since the last contest. "Why didn't I practice more? I'm gonna forget. You can't screw up. You can't be off the cuff. It has to be perfect. You are going to be judged. You are representing your area and your club. You are forgetting your lines. You should have been more SERIOUS!"

That little voice in our head - sure can be brutal can't it? Worse than outside voices. I'm glad that I went over the speech first thing this morning...I think I have the voice under control. Sure, I need to run through the speech a few more times.

Hey, it was better to do it this morning than later this afternoon - That's a HappyUP! way to look at it!!! I'll wait until the last minute sometimes. I now have all day to work unencumbered. I just e-mailed a friend today...

"I think that I put it off because I like that little voice and the nervous crap it brings up." - it makes me reach down a little deeper. To a place that I couldn't have accessed if I hadn't challenged myself. It's Me against Me. Me always wins...but Me also loses. Anyway, I continued on in the e-mail that I think this is why I do this...it really brings out the best and prohibits me from being too smooth and overconfident. It allows me to keep an edge....

Either that or - I have, once again, justified my procrastination!!!!

If I win tonight - I'll start practicing much sooner for the next contest....unless, of course, I don't (start practicing sooner). Let's see...what did I say after I won the last contest? It was on a Friday night.

It was something about starting the very next day to make the speech perfect.