Isn't it amazing when someone writes about something - and describes a thing that you are familiar with or something that you innately do....but you have never put it into words?
I know that when it happens to me - it reinforces my belief that we all have brilliance inside of us. Yet, we often don't recognize it because it is so second nature to us that we think that it is a basic skill most other people have.
Recently, I was reading The Inner Game of Work by Tim Gallwey - he has been writing for some time (Inner Game of Golf, Inner Game of Tennis) on how to improve levels of performance. He writes of techniques that assist us in getting out of our own way. One of the concepts he writes about is one that I unknowingly have applied during my life.
It's strange - but, once I read about the concept, I said, "hey, I do that and, when I do, it is effective." The learning for me came right after I blurted that out to myself:
How often do I do it? - when can I do it? How can I do more of it?
I shared the concept with a work colleague - who said, "dude, this is so weird. I just met a guy who speaks and consults with CEO's and is heavily involved in coaching. He was talking about this very same thing."
Ah...the wonderful law of Synchronicity - was starting to kick in. When strange coincidences like that pop up, I know that it is time for the Ol Nutster to start paying closer attention.
The concept is.......Transposing - and it has a wide range of applications. It is a fairly simple concept. The whole idea is to ANTICIPATE what is going on inside the person that you will be engaging with. It is trying to walk a mile in their moccasins....NO, it is not how YOU would walk if you were in their shoes...it is about what it is like to live within their skin.
Anticipating what it is like for that person - to meet you....to think about how that person is going to recieve your message.... to try to absorb like they would absorb (not how you would absorb...or how they should absorb....actually how they absorb).
"Nutster....this may be great for people I know intimately, but what about the others?" - WOW? Thanks! This is a great question. You are absolutely correct. You don't know, do you? Well, if you don't know something, what is the best way to find out?
That's right - YOU ASK!
There it is, boys and girls - you transpose yourself first....anticipate how they are the best you can....and this should lead you to ASK GREAT QUESTIONS of the person. Better questions than you would have ever thought of if you were trying to do it on the fly.
Think about it - if you were talking to someone that actually had thought about you first, that person is going to come to you from a different place than most people that walk the planet. This person is going to elevate just by the way they communicate to you. Then, if that wasn't enough, they ask questions that probably are not like ones that you ever get. And what would the subject matter be? Your favorite topic....YOU!
How different is this approach - then someone that is trying to tell you what to do? For many of us, even if it is the right thing, we won't do something just because someone told us to do it. We may let it sit in the cranium, roll it around, and then put a little spin on the advice.....basically, we create enough authorship that we feel comfortable to say to ourselves, "this was my idea." Either that, or we just blow the whole thing off.
A great leader...or teacher - is one who guides us to ourselves. One of the best ways to be that kind of person?
Transpose.....and anticipate....and generate outstanding questions