Saturday, August 12, 2006

Who Else Might I Be?......SugarFree



(A Special Post for SundayScribblings)

OK Gang - I have to come clean with you. This is hard. This is painful. I would say that it is shameful but there are enough of you out there that share this situation with me that I know I am not alone.

I have an addiction - it's to the white powder. I get it from any dealer that will sell it to me....even this notorious character in the picture. I take it in it's pure form. I take it baked into brownies. If I thought snorting it would be satisfying, I would do that too.

No, I don't think that I would inject it - while I don't have any morbid fear of needles, I just don't have enough affinity for them to indulge my excess in this manner.

When I don't have any of my drug available - I will get in my car at night and go to the nearest pusher so I can get my fix. Baskin Robbins.....Dairy Queen....grocery store....it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that I get my jones taken care of.....now.

Even the office has it's methods of distribution - I have actually borrowed the 75 cents from a coworker when I didn't have the quarters to feed the machine so I could get my hands on that Twix bar that is luciously stored behind that glass. I don't think I would go so far as to shatter the window that seperates me from the luscious treat that can take me to the momentary nirvana that only my drug of choice can provide......but I have always been able to put my hands on those quarters so you never know.

Some peope choose crank and crystal meth as their white powder - the tell tale sign for them is that they eventually get gaunt and skinny. My drug works just the opposite.

I try to hide my addiction and the signs - I go to the gym most mornings so that I can work off the aftereffects before anyone can detect my abuse.

Where, oh where, is the local SA meeting - "I am Nutster. I am a Sugaraholic."

What else might I be? - Sugar Free.

It's 10 a.m. on this Saturday morning - I just got back from the gas station. I couldn't leave it at just filling my tank. I had to go inside while the car was fueling. I chose this gas station for a specific reason. Ah.........a coffee machine that really isn't a coffee machine. It dispenses my favorite liquid drug. I mix it with the same care that a crack addict heats the spoon that cradles his lethal concotion. I carefully fill the 20 oz cup 5/8th's full of English Toffee....I then fill to the brim with the Nestle Double Mocha. The heat....the sugar....the liquid....it floats across my lips and frees me of the shakes that I have acquired since the last ingestion of the processed powder.

No, my addiction doesn't come from exotic locales - like the poppy fields of Afghanistan or other third world country. The cane fields of Hawaii is where my drug of choice is grown.

It's 10 a.m. on Saturday morning - in 7 days, it will be 10 a.m. next Saturday morning. Will I be able to say that I have been "clean" for a week as I sit down in front of this keyboard? Sure, my willpower is high right now.....as am I. The Toffee Mocha elixir has it's hold on me. I can feel the power of the toxins coarsing through my veins.

What will happen an hour from now.....this afternoon.....this evening - oh, how I will be looking for a little desert after my evening repast. All I can say is that I shall do my best....

And, failure or not, I will report back to you on my progress - it will be one day at a time. No, I am not going to throw out my ketchup.....unless I find myself sucking on a bottle of Heinz so I can huff the particles of sugar from the processed tomato mixture. If my salad dressing has some of "the cane" in it, so be it. I only vow to make every attempt to stay clear of the dreaded confectionary and superfulous items that feed my habit.

One day at a time.......One day at a time.....One day at a time.......One day at a time.

7 comments:

paris parfait said...

Wonderful post, with which most of us can identify! I'm afraid I share your addiction. I try to banish this monster from the cupboard, keep him out of the house. But whenever I'm out and about, he follows me, urging me to partake, whispering in my ear. Good luck in slaying the dragon! He's persistent and relentless. By working out, you discourage him from coming back.

NuttersNotes said...

Paris comment about working out discouraging the recurrence would be true for most people....I have found that working out has been a justification to keep it up! If the scale doesn't slide, the sugar can keep dripping!!!

Michelle said...

Oh how fun! I sooo enjoyed reading this post. I am trying to wean myself off of the creamer habit that I have which is eerily similar to yours....:-) Also, I have shaken a vending machine before because the Twix wouldn't fall...that is good exercise, right?

I'm walking like crazy right now, trying to stave off the stress that triggers my addiction to that white stuff.

alyndabear said...

Hah! Good post, Scott!

I think I'm caught up with that too, although I have weaned myself off the coffee.. *gasp*

By the way, I still can't email you - it appears comcast dislikes me.

-Aly

swampgrrl said...

so glad you came out of the closet. i'm a sugar-nut too.
thanks for sharing.
swampgrrl, sugar queen

severtheties said...

I am eating strawberry twizzlers as I am reading this....

Jana B said...

Your comment made me crave a Little Debby snack cake. LOL No, I'm not a fellow addict... *wiping crumbs off clothes*... not at all...