Saturday, July 15, 2006

100....for 10 Days in a Row


OK....I am going to use the blog for something positive
- complaining about the weather. I am going to do it right here, right now, one time and then I am going to be done with it.

Here in the big SacRahTomatoe - (that's Sacramento, CA for my international readership), today was the second day in a row with the temperature over 100 degrees. I just made a trip over to weather.com and saw that the next 10 days are supposed to be over 100....

And that's just too many in a row for my liking - people start to get a bit crabby here in the Sacramento Valley when you start encroaching on two weeks of straight triple digits. Let's see, what else will happen...

Oh, I know - the "news" stations will start running the polution/air quality index stories all the time. This begs the question: is it news if we already know that it is going to happen? Instead of calling it "The Six O'Clock News Report" perhaps they should call it "The Six O'Clock Duh Report."

"But, Nut, they are performing a public service for all of the people with breathing conditions"- hold it....stop the presses right there. IF you have figured out tht you have some kind of condition that effects your oxygen intake and you haven't figured out that when it's hot you should stay inside, perhaps you are taking up too much of everyone's air anyway!!!!

Oooooh! That last sentence wasn't very nice, was it? - no, it probably wasn't. It was pretty funny so the editor told me to leave it in. Besides, I'm making fun of the weather people.

PLUS...this is my one time that I am going to complain for two weeks so - I am entitled.

Let's see...what else will be on the news- oh, I know. "Don't leave your pets or children unattended in the car during the heat wave." LIKE YOUR SUPPOSED TO LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN UNATTENDED IN THE CAR ANY OTHER TIME!!!....and our PITA pals probably wouldn't be too hep on animals ever being left in the car either.

....oh, I know - the news will cut to a local university/hospital. They'll get some doctor to tell you what to make sure you do during these times. I wonder what his suggestion will be. Hmmmm...after all of those years of education....study....interning. What will this sage medicine man suggest? I can't wait.... my survival during this temperature torture chamber might rely on his very words. Perhaps he/she will say "DRINK LOTS OF WATER and WEAR SUNSCREEN"!!! Thanks for that cutting edge advice.

Hey, wait a minute- Perhaps I should call up the TV station right now and tell them I am available to come down for an interview. I'll save them the dough of having to send out the remote team that has to be on some doctor's time schedule. I can then tell all of the viewership to get more of my secrets at NuttersNotes.blogspot.com

Onward we will move to my friends who have to have black cars with black leather interior - "dang my black car...it's burning up!" Hey...Einstein.....you live in Sacramento. Are you too cool and chic to drive a white car???!!! How long have you lived here? Months that have names like JULY and AUGUST mean that there is a better than average chance of roasting! You were already a bit underbrained when you bought the car.......and now you validate it by complaining which indicates that you might not have figured out the black/heat correlation when you purchased the chariot.

How much longer should I go on - hey, I have to get it all out. From here on in, I have to replace "hotter than heck" with, "my what a very sunny day it is" for almost a fortnight.

Well...I think that's enough - and, if it's not, it may be time for a hastily planned vacation. Is it nice where you live right now?

And one more thing about how hot it is here - it's over 100 degrees a lot of days for our troops in God forsaken parts of the world......as people are trying to kill them. When you think about that, I think I, and everybody else that is lucky enough not to be taking that kind of heat, should drink a nice cool can of Shut-the-Heck-Up. I just stocked up on that beverage....

Cheers! Bottoms Up!!! - and a toast to those who are the heroes that really should be complaining. I don't hear them crying.

3 comments:

Kamsin said...

We've been having a bit of a heatwave over the pond in England. Not as hot as it is in CA of course, but w get such helpful advice and comments on the news too! The trouble is people really are absolutely stupid when the sun comes out in this country, I guess it's such a shock to us we forgot what the sun actually is! Anyway, there was a story on Friday that some woman had locked her keys and 2 children under 4 years in her car. The kids were rushed to hospital with heat exhaustion (or whatever it's called) having been stuck in the car for an hour! I was sreaming at the radio: "If you're kids are locked in a hot car break in, smash a window". People are idiots and doubly so in extreme weather!

Ang said...

Great post! I agree 100% Shaun & I lived in Arizona for three years before moving out here and we saw the same types of comments. They should really be used to it there. Even so there were multiple stories about kids and pets being left in cars. In one case a woman did not want to wake her sleeping baby so she left him in the car IN THE GARAGE while she went inside.

Thank you for recognizing our brave troops as well. We all do have it very good compared to and because of them!

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