Saturday, September 23, 2006

Instructions

(A Special Post for SundayScribblings)

Advice is like the time - it should only be given when asked for

Oh how difficult it is - to be a Virgo in this world. You watch people struggle. You watch the mistakes. You know that it would only take a little tweek here and a little tuck over there...

And it would make all the difference - yet, it has to be welcome or the person is likely to not only continue doing what they are doing but to put extra emphasis on it and send them busting even faster down the ill chosen path.

Then, you have your own reputation - "the old man just likes to sit over there and pontificate."

In a way, that is how I have felt over the last few months - advice, instruction, guidance....they are all the same thing. You offer it up...it goes ignored....and the people that you tried to assist end up in the exact problem that you saw coming. Yet, most people are just plain stubborn. Perhaps they just flat out enjoy the extra drama and stress that their actions bring.

"Nutster, what is it about you where you have to be right all the time?" - is a question that I have received. It's a fair question....but not a good one. It's more of an accusation. A better query would be...

"Nutster, why do you have a burning desire not to be wrong?" - is more on point. Do you think the difference between the two is merely semantics? If so, you may want to consider a redirection of your thinking.

The need to be right - is a very ego driven need. There insinuates a desire to hold this self- righteousness over others so one can be above them. Not my gig. Heck, just about everyone that I compare myself is better than me in any field of endeavor I have ever chosen.

The need to not be wrong - is an effort to help. There is a humbleness to it. To not contribute to what is off-line. You are either part of the problem or part of the solution.

"But Nutster, people don't know....they screw up. You screw up yourself" - yes, you are right. When I mess up, I try to figure out why....so it doesn't happen again. If I see someone else messing up, I just figure that they don't know why. They need....

INSTRUCTION

But the truth of the matter is - that a lot of people don't want to help themselves so they don't want to be helped. For a Virgo like me, that's a hard pill to swallow.....and a difficult tongue to bite.

So, if you need some help - give me a shout. I won't come looking until I hear your call.


10 comments:

paris parfait said...

Ah yes - the trials of being a Virgo. Very familiar story. Well said!

Verity said...

I was really moved by this post, and I totally agree that watching people making the same mistakes over and over again is really hard. But as you say, people live their own lives and make their own choices, and you're not responsible for them. However, it's good to know you're there.

Michelle said...

Being helped means accepting and embracing change. Change scares the hell out of most people, and so yeah, they don't want help.

Autrice DelDrago said...

Sage knowledge from our Virgo Nutster: Advice is like the time - it should only be given when asked for. I enjoyed your post.

nikkirae said...

*smiles* I'm one of those who doesn't usually like to listen to instruction I don't ask for.. and sometimes even if I ask for it!

My husband is one of those sagely men who just wants to help and often just "knows".

You sound a lot like him.

Traver Dougherty said...

Yes, I get it. Isn't it sometimes rude to shout though: not wanting to take advantage of the relationship? Just thoughts. And yes, I admit it, I'm a fellow screw-uper :-)

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